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I’m not going to give Beyonce too much credit here, but ever since Destiny’s Child informed the world that they were Independent Women, it’s become a rallying cry.

You go to the club and the DJ yells for all of the independent women to throw their hands up. Personally, I miss the “rub your breastsstssts” demands, but hey, times have changed. Nowadays, women make it a point to let you they own everything from the roota to the toota. And that’s all well and good, but I wonder if all of this independence hasn’t come at a cost.

The relationship paradigm has been thrown out of whack for years now. At one point, men were expected to do man sh*t: put food on the table, fix the cars, and be the main decision maker in the household. Thing is, women still expect that stuff today (to some degree) except they make sure to let you know that they don’t NEED you to do it for them because they are more than able to do it all. That last one is probably the most interesting to me.

Nearly every household that I’m aware of, the men probably make more money but I’m almost sure that the women/mothers are the ones making all of the money decisions, save the crap like riding lawn mowers and powerized blow up dolls with the kung-fu grip major appliances. I know in my household that I never asked my dad for anything because he’d only tell me to go ask my mother for money anyway. Now of course, most of these women allow their men to be men outside of the household, which only means keep up appearances of the standard patriarchal household.

But I digress.

Independent women. As the typical roles of men and women get tossed out the window like a Britney Spears newborn or a Lauren London career I have to wonder what expectations women maintain for the household nowadays? I assume that most people are probably still very traditional in their approaches but let’s be real, in a world where women are starting to outpace their partners in the earning potential category it’s a lot more likely today that the woman could figuratively be the “head of the household”. But does that mean that the man’s role is diminished to former women-centric roles like wearing aprons and ironing C-cups and B.A.D.s??

It used to be that one of the main goals of the woman was to be married and become a mother, probably before 30. I don’t know about your neck of the woods but it seems like more and more women are getting dusty waiting longer to have kids and focusing more on establishing careers. Now this could be because the better women can read the less men there are out there for them (as evidenced by the myriad articles about women foregoing the typical family structure and adopting as a single mother), or maybe all the attractive women have men already leaving nothing but busted heffas to fight for the guys who really dont’ want to settle down anyway.

I kid. I kid.

I suppose women’s goals are still the same but I’m guessing that perhaps, the expectations of the gender roles isn’t the same as it used to be. Me no know. I assume that most if not all of the VSS’s here will be the type of woman to be as successful, if not moreso than their partners and husbands. So as women become more and more independent women become largely more successful than us men (we’re still all trying to graduate)…

….ladies, how have your expectations of the men in your changed from the prior generations, if at all? And to the brothas out there, does there seem to be a change in the expectations of women from what most of us learned early on?

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[ Modified: Wednesday, 16 October 2024, 6:44 PM ]

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“You got a gold star this weekend.”

“Word?”

“Yup.”

“Cool. I’ll put it on my refrigerator. Can you tell me exactly why, though? What good relationship deed did I do?”

“If you don’t already know, I’m not telling you”

“Why not?”

“I want to continue to think you did it on purpose.”

In a perfect word, there’d be no need for such a list because there’d be no ambiguity about chivalry, but since “the concept of chivalry died years ago, neglected so long that it ended up gaunt and emaciated, starving to death outside of a KFC because no one could spare him the big piece of chicken” many contemporary women are surprised when men practice it. So surprised, in fact, that we occasionally receive “points” for things we’ve been doing since we were eight years old. (I said “eight” because that’s the first time I remember my dad smacking me in the back of my head because I didn’t open a door for my mom. That shit hurt like hell, so I tried to make sure to never to it again)

But along with the usual typically chivalrous acts, we spend much of our waking hours doing certain things for the sole purpose of making women’s lives easier, things we don’t get any types of special points or extra credit for.

Here’s a few of them.

1. Sleeping in the wet spot

Each gender has an equal stake in making sex a pleasurable experience. From courting to coitus, sex is the world’s truest symbiotic activity; an event where much of the outcome is based on creating an environment where teamwork trumps talent and unity usurps uniqueness.

But, the moment the last orgasmic reverberation ends, all notions of gender equality, togetherness, teamwork, and sexual ubuntu end as well. Men are expected to be the sacrificial “lay in the mysteriously colored (and mysteriously temperatured) wet spots made as a result of your collective effort to cum” lambs, ignoring the fact that human’s aren’t built to lay in random coital dampness. (Well, human’s not named “Kat Stacks” aren’t meant to lay in random coital dampness.)

Yet, despite this blatant and flagrant inequality (and despite the fact that we’re not the ones secreting random water-based lubricants all over the sheets and shit), we accept this arrangement, as long as you don’t ask us to get up and make you any kool-aid. (It’s cold out there, and, well, we generally don’t like how we look when it’s cold and we’re butt-naked.)

2. We don’t complain about our days

We hate our commutes, our bosses, our idiot coworkers, our “too damn talkative for a f*cking Monday morning” cubicle nemesi, our secretary’s terrible brick-based brownies (and the fact that she’ll “accidentally” misplace one of your messages if we refuse to eat one of them), the lunchtime lines at Au Bon Pain, the too flirty cashiers, the fact that the one cashier who’s actually cute is the one that never flirts with us, and the fact that no one in the office remembered it’s our birthday just as much as you do.

But, in what may be our most altruistic act, we usually leave it all at the office, allowing you to bask alone in your professional martyrdom glory. Trust me, on the chivalry scale, there’s no difference between “walking on the outside of the sidewalk while with a woman” and saying “My day was fine. Yours?” when you ask us about our day at work.

3. Allow you to convince us to try “new” foods

I have a friend who has literally eaten at least one junior bacon cheeseburger every day for the past 17 years. This may seem like a particularly depressing piece of Pittsburgh-area hyperbole, but his diet isn’t really that much different than the typical man’s diet.

Seriously, if you were to open the fridge in any random bachelor’s apartment today, you’d probably see nothing but myriad representatives from each of the three main food groups—breakfast food, reheatable beef products, and fruity shit stored in the fridge just in case a woman decides to come through. That’s it.

But, when we’re with you, we’re eating Ethiopian lasagna and Thai scrambled eggs and anus-angering Indian food. (Seriously, can someone tell me why Indian food hates our anuses so much? Did our anuses sleep with their sister? Do our anuses own them money? Did our anuses promise Indian food that it would always be its “spirtual son”? If anyone has any idea what their beef is, please let me know) So what if our stomachs are growling like Busta in the “Scenario” video, we do it in an attempt to appease your need for “atmosphere” and “newness” and “ambiance” and other gay-ass sounding descriptive nouns.

4. Leaving the toilet seat up

After getting up in the middle of the night and stumbling through the darkness to relieve ourselves, we occasionally forget to put the toilet seat down when finished. Women usually complain about this.

But, if you all knew the actual truth—if the toilet seat is actually down after we’ve relived ourselves in the middle of the night, there’s a likely chance the seat was never actually up, which also means there’s a likely chance we just said “f*ck it” and decided to pee on the toilet seat—you’d realize exactly how kind and considerate we were to leave it up.

5. Masturbating

We masturbate (frequently) so we’re not as compelled to sleep with each of your friends, an extremely chivalrous act saving you the trouble of having to find a new group of women to borrow dresses from and dread going to Saturday brunch with.

Anyway, falks, can you think of any other chivalrous acts men always do, but never get any actual notice or credit for? Also, ladies, are their any forms of “reverse chivalry” you regularly practice but we don’t know about?

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[ Modified: Thursday, 26 September 2024, 8:39 PM ]

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