James Harder

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I’m not going to give Beyonce too much credit here, but ever since Destiny’s Child informed the world that they were Independent Women, it’s become a rallying cry.

You go to the club and the DJ yells for all of the independent women to throw their hands up.  Personally, I miss the “rub your breastsstssts” demands, but hey, times have changed.  Nowadays, women make it a point to let you they own everything from the roota to the toota.  And that’s all well and good, but I wonder if all of this independence hasn’t come at a cost.

The relationship paradigm has been thrown out of whack for years now.  At one point, men were expected to do man sh*t: put food on the table, fix the cars, and be the main decision maker in the household.  Thing is, women still expect that stuff today (to some degree) except they make sure to let you know that they don’t NEED you to do it for them because they are more than able to do it all.  That last one is probably the most interesting to me.

Nearly every household that I’m aware of, the men probably make more money but I’m almost sure that the women/mothers are the ones making all of the money decisions, save the crap like riding lawn mowers and powerized blow up dolls with the kung-fu grip major appliances.  I know in my household that I never asked my dad for anything because he’d only tell me to go ask my mother for money anyway.  Now of course, most of these women allow their men to be men outside of the household, which only means keep up appearances of the standard patriarchal household.

But I digress.

Independent women.  As the typical roles of men and women get tossed out the window like a Britney Spears newborn or a Lauren London career I have to wonder what expectations women maintain for the household nowadays?  I assume that most people are probably still very traditional in their approaches but let’s be real, in a world where women are starting to outpace their partners in the earning potential category it’s a lot more likely today that the woman could figuratively be the “head of the household”.  But does that mean that the man’s role is diminished to former women-centric roles like wearing aprons and ironing C-cups and B.A.D.s??

It used to be that one of the main goals of the woman was to be married and become a mother, probably before 30.  I don’t know about your neck of the woods but it seems like more and more women are getting dusty waiting longer to have kids and focusing more on establishing careers.  Now this could be because the better women can read the less men there are out there for them (as evidenced by the myriad articles about women foregoing the typical family structure and adopting as a single mother), or maybe all the attractive women have men already leaving nothing but busted heffas to fight for the guys who really dont’ want to settle down anyway.

I kid.  I kid.

I suppose women’s goals are still the same but I’m guessing that perhaps, the expectations of the gender roles isn’t the same as it used to be.  Me no know.  I assume that most if not all of the VSS’s here will be the type of woman to be as successful, if not moreso than their partners and husbands.  So as women become more and more independent women become largely more successful than us men (we’re still all trying to graduate)…

….ladies, how have your expectations of the men in your changed from the prior generations, if at all?  And to the brothas out there, does there seem to be a change in the expectations of women from what most of us learned early on?